Baby steps - rolling over

The gym I frequent is a large facility, on the main floor is: two indoor pools (plus an outdoor pool), two hot tubs, locker rooms, two basketball gyms, God only knows how many tennis courts (cost extra, so I don’t go in there), a climbing wall, a café, and the list goes on.  The second floor is where I love to go (partly because kids aren’t permitted up there), it has the cardio equipment, the weights, the yoga room, and all sorts of other stuff.  As I have been walking in the pool I keep looking up and I see people working out on the second floor and I want to go up there.  I gave it a shot last week and man did I screw up!  I wasn’t even ready for the recumbent bike!  I was hurting so bad it wasn’t even funny.  Today I decided I would brave the upstairs again, I managed to get a full 35 minutes in. Ok, the pain started about 15 minutes, but it didn’t get too bad. By the time I got off it was around a 4 (last week I hit 10 without any question). 

After my enjoyable time on the bike (I broke a sweat, I was so happy), I wondered down to the pool.  Once again I did my five laps walking followed by five laps swimming.  I did 6 rounds of that, and then I did 15 more laps of different exercises.   By the time I got out my pain level was about a 5, so overall I was feeling ok.  I had to run a few errands with minion #2 after my gym time and my body made it clear it was time to stop and go home.  This is a HUGE improvement from two weeks ago.  I am still nowhere near where I need to be let alone where I want to be, but it is just a matter of taking baby steps and listening to my body. 

To be human again!

Yesterday was a bit of a stressful day.  I was going to wake up early and go to aqua zumba, but that didn’t happen.  I did get up in time for my rheumy appointment.  I got there with plenty of time got weighed in (weight was up a smidge), blood pressure checked, blah, blah, blah.  Doc came in and he said the past month confirmed my lupus diagnosis.  He is keeping my prednisone the same because it does seem to be helping a smidge.  He wants to put me on a new medicine, Benlysta infusion.  I am not sure how I feel about it at this point in time, but I am definitely doing my homework on it because if there is even a small chance of giving me back a normal life I am all for it! I guess the next hurdle would be insurance covering it.

I didn’t make it to the pool yesterday, after the doctor appointment I went grocery shopping with my mom and they took rest of my energy. Today, on the other hand, I made it nice and early.  I love the walk 5/swim 5 routine I have.  I think I pushed my swimming a little harder than I should have but for a whole five minutes after getting out of the pool I didn’t hurt, I actually felt human again! I did a total of 75 laps when all was said and done. I am still hoping to make it to a yoga class in the near future, but I am not going to push my luck.

Wordless Wednesday – To bad I am scared of heights!

Strengths

Strength is an interesting concept.  To some people strength is how much you can lift.  Over the past handful of years I have learned that strength has nothing to do with weightlifting.  It is more about how you deal with situations.   

As I keep going on and on about lupus is an autoimmune disease that has no rhyme or reason to it. You can feel amazing one day and then like death warmed over for the few months.  Ok, right now it is more like being hit by a mac truck day in and day out.  I am hoping I can carefully push myself out of this flare-up I have been suffering from for at least the last two months.  Last week I braved the pool with a very optimistic attitude, I had planned on walking a full mile on my first day.  Well, my body didn’t agree with my mind so I got out of the pool after a half a mile and I was fine with that.  Later in the week I tried to get over precocious and snuck upstairs at the gym and got on the recumbent bike, ok, that wasn’t so smart.  Rest of the week I kept with my water walking mixed in with some doggy paddle.  Over the weekend I pulled out my swim bag and it occurred to me… when I swim freestyle 90% of it is upper body, I am not big on kicking so I could give it a shot next time I hit the pool! Today I got in the pool and walked five laps and then swam, not doggy paddled, swam 5 laps.  I had a buoy between my legs to ensure I didn’t try to kick.  I could feel my heart rate increase a little and I was so happy! I repeated the 5 walk/5 swim pattern 5 times.  I capped off my pool time with some lunges and squats, not sure how wise those were, but that is ok.

I am tired, I hurt, but emotionally I feel good!

On a beyond note…  I finally got my grades in from last quarter and ladies and gentlemen I took three classes totally 10 credit hours this quarter and walked away with a clean, strong 4.0 this quarter! YAY!!!!!! 

This is so relaxing!

Today was a busy day!  Last night my sister came up at around 10 pm to let me know the washing machine crapped out and she needed some laundry done.  As a good house sister I told her not to worry about, I will get it washed today.  This morning I called my mom to ask her if I can use her washer and dryer and, like a good mom, she said yes! I got over there about 9 am, with an offering of Starbucks! I had a 10:00 appointment at the VA so I headed out shortly after starting the load.  My doc person (she is a nurse practitioner) was running a little late, but I didn’t mind because she is not one of those people who comes in, gives you 5 minutes and then leaves.  I told her I had a shopping list of stuff, and we went item by item.  I got a lot of information and a lot of stuff taken care of.  Then I was off to pick up some medical paperwork so little man can go to camp in a couple of weeks.  By the time I got back to my mom’s house (with lunch!) she had started the second load for me already (see! A good mom!!!!).  Turns out I brought over about three loads (ok, I am sure I could have done it in two, but I always pack the poor machine!).  Luckily I got finished with enough time to hit the pool before my kids came home. 

As I was walking back and forth the guy in the lane next to me makes a comment about how relaxing it was.  I smiled and nodded, I wasn’t going to tell him my real opinion of walking in the pool.  Relaxing my butt!!! Let me run, let me swim laps those are relaxing! Ok, fine, those are relaxing when they don’t cause extreme pain! The only reason I am walking is to try to get my body to get out of this stupid flare (isn’t working to well).  As I am walking I do let my mind wonder, which does help my mental state, but I want to do more!  I have to keep it slow if I want to get back to running and swimming, I have to listen to my body!

Tomorrow is more walking, I would like to hit the yoga class with Beth, but I am not sure I will make it.  I trust Beth because she is also a yoga therapist and will help me modify the poses.  Or I might wait until next Wednesday and take her gentle yoga class.  I will see how I am feeling in the morning!

I am still waiting on my grades, yes, I am very impatient! I want to know my grades NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

 

To much too soon

Oops! I have to admit, I push myself a lot harder than I should and I always get in trouble! Today is one of those days!

I figured I would go to the gym a little early today and try to get my heart rate up some by getting on the recumbent bike.  I figured it would be gentle enough and it would get my heart rate up a little.  Little did I know how bad it would hurt! I figured I would be able to do 30 minutes without any issues.  My hips, my knees and even my ankles weren’t having it! So I listened (after I tried to push a little longer) and I got off and headed down to the pool.

I did 40 laps today, but not all of it was pool walking, there was a good amount of doggy paddling going on!  It took over an hour, but I felt relaxed when I was done.

This is finals week and that is always a difficult time.  This quarter was one of those quarters that I really wish I could have hidden in my bed the entire time.  Things worked out well; I took three classes, one was purely online, one was on campus once a week and the third one was my capstone project so I only had to meet with my professor every so often for updates.  My online prof was very understanding when I needed an extension for an exam; she said I need to focus on getting better.  My on campus prof knows my issue and I only missed two or three classes.  My capstone prof… I sent him an email letting him know what was going on and he was fine with me sending him emails letting him know my status.  Tonight is the last night of the quarter and I am not stressed out! I had both of my projects printed over the weekend, I took the smart route and brought it to a printer and had them print and crop it so all I had to do was put the final bits together.  I submitted my final exam yesterday for my online class, so I am done!  I am getting so close to graduating which is a MAJOR relief!

Wordless Wednesday—Vacation

Patience my butt!

You hear people talking about starting over at square one, but what happens when you have to go back even further than square one? That is where I am at right now, in many ways it is heart breaking, but in a tiny way it isn’t such a bad thing. 

While I was walking in the pool today I kept looking up and seeing the people working on the weights and thought that would be nice to do.  I am not exactly sure how wise it would at this point, but the idea is still wonderful!  By my second lap I was already hurting, but I decided I would continue until a 1:45 pm (I had to pick my boys up for an appointment by 2:30).  I completed a total of 30 laps today, which, trust me, made me happy.  As I am typing this my hips and knees are making rude comments to me but rest of me feels relaxed! I had to promise my family I wouldn’t even look at a treadmill until I could walk a mile in the water without any pain, so it might be a while. But hey, I am in there working on it. 

My sister found out I was eyeballing the winter running series, I am pretty sure she wanted to kill me!  Hey, it doesn’t start until January, I might be ready by then! Yea, she wasn’t buying it either.  I was told that this will take as long as it needs to and I will NOT rush it! As runners/triathletes we are used to pushing ourselves.  Oh well, I guess I have to work on patience is a virtue!

 

Two Miles

I have not even looked at my gym in over a month due to this stupid lupus flare up.  I had every intention of going to the gym today to do some water walking.  Yay for us, we had a cold front came in overnight and when I woke up I was hurting all over and I felt down right crappy.  I pulled my blanket up and tried to get some more sleep in the hopes I would feel better in another hour or so.  I wasn’t so lucky, but I dragged myself to the gym anyway.  My gym has three pool, one outside (which is closed now) and two inside.  One of the indoor pools is a lap pool and is kept at cooler temperatures, in which I usually do my laps. The other pool is the family/water aerobics pool so it is kept at a warmer temperature.  Of course I went to the warmer pool!  I had planned on doing a mile (36 laps), but at lap 5 my hips and knees and back started to complain.  I figured if I could get to a half a mile I would be happy.  Finally I hit lap 18 and I was done! I spent a little bit of time in the hot tub (I want to talk to my rheumy about that, need to make sure it is ok).  And just to get the pain out of my hips I went into the sauna for all of about two minutes (I can’t breathe in the heat).

Before I got in the pool I braved the scale… I was so ecstatic to see in the past 13 weeks I have only put on four pounds.  Of those 13 weeks, I have been on prednisone for about a month, so seeing a four pound gain is amazing!

Now it is time to have quiet time.  My goal this week is to do a total of 2 miles of pool walking. 

Slowly!

It is odd that I am so excited that I went grocery shopping today and didn’t feel like dying.  I am still horribly tired, but I am slowly starting to feel like a human again. 

My current flare up kicked into over drive the beginning of August, luckily it only lasted a month.  I am still not up to eating as I should along with many other lingering side effects.  Tomorrow my goal is to see how I am doing and take my first trip to the gym in almost a month and a half.  Don’t worry, I am not going to do anything stupid, I am just going to walk/doggy paddle laps in the pool.  I am not going to attempt the water aerobics class until the end of this week at the earliest.  I might ask one of my boys to take me for a walk around the block to see how I am doing that way.  I have to make sure I keep everything nice and slow, I do not want to end up in another flare up (that could very possibly be even worse than my last one).

Here is to a gentle trip to the gym tomorrow!

 

 

Image from The Dibetes Club

Beyond the bling and the bibs…

My wall is decorated with some pretty good bling; there is something about crossing that finish line and getting an awesome medal put around your neck.  My idea of scrapbooking is archiving my race bibs.  But this is only a small part of me.  I am a single mom of two special needs kids, my boys have taught me so much about myself and life in general.  I am a disable veteran and I am a lupus warrior.