Reflect

It is New Year’s Eve, I guess I should take a moment too reflect on the 2012.  It has been a very bumpy year, but I learned a very valuable lesson… I am a very strong person and am capable of handling anything.  Ok, I need to lean on others from time to time, but that is ok.  When I started having major issues I had an amazing group of people circle around me and provide me the support I needed to be strong. 

2013 is going to be a good year!  I read somewhere about writing a positive thing about the day every day.  There is always something positive in each day, sometimes it is harder than others, but it is there. I am not going to set any resolutions because they just get broken, but I do have a goal… I want to complete 201.3 miles this year.  Yes, the number is low but as I sit here and type this I am starting to feel the effects of my pain pills kick in.  I know a couple of years ago I could have done that in less than two months, but that was then and this is now. 

 

Happy New Year to everyone!   

Day One

I guess I really shouldn’t say ewww, but I can’t help it!  I have a lot of renovation work to do and seeing a picture of me just proves it! That is ok! Gives me a starting point.

 

Today I had another very enjoyable pool day and did a real live workout from one of my books.  Today is was Swim Workouts for Triathletes 30 minute workout #1 advanced.  It took me more than 30 minutes, but it was the distance that I could handle.  Looking at the book (I have had it for about a number of months now) I think I will work with the General Fitness Training Plan for now. I just need to get my swimming back on track before I can even begin to consider signing up for any triathlons. 

My primary doc has been on me for a while to go gluten free, I am going to give it a shot and see if it helps me out any.  The aches and pains make me more than willing to try anything, so long as I don’t need more meds! I have an appointment with my rheumy tomorrow, I might ask him what he thinks about the idea of going gluten free. 

365 Days of…

ME! ME! ME! ME, ME, ME! Yes, I know this is on the narcissistic side, but it is something I need to do! This past year has been rough!  I am still in my flare up, but I am seeing what I can do to work my way around it. I am excited that I am down to 5 mg of prednisone but I am still up about 50 pounds.  That is about a pound a week for the past year!  Thanks to my graphic design back ground I figured I would have some fun and make a visual project out of this and I will take a picture every day for the next year and at the end post a video with all the pictures.  Hopefully there will be a nice change.  Oh, and I have set up a nice little day by day, by the end of the year every block (and then some) will be filled up! Here is to 365 days to a new me, well, not really a new me, I like me, how about 365 days of construction to a renovated me! (I am not setting any goals, I am going to take this one day at a time and see where I end up.)

WAY Beyond the Bling

I found out earlier this month that I will be graduating by this summer.  It will have taken me exactly seven years to obtain my undergraduate, but I did it.  Now I get to look towards my future, which is both exciting and scary.  In February I will be taking my LSAT, you got it, I am shooting for law school.  I have known for about two decades that I wanted to go to law school, but I never really thought it would be possible until now.  I have been studying for the LSAT and finishing up this quarter’s classes, I am looking forward to the next two weeks when I can focus more on the LSAT before going back to school. 

For at more than the past decade I have wanted family law but with the degree I have spent the past seven years working on I am also considering intellectual property law.  I should have my application submitted by the beginning of March 2013.  Yes, I am nervous, but excited!

 

One mile

For the past month I have been struggling to get to some resemblance of my old training plan.  I remember walking in the gym thinking it is a light day because I only have 6 miles on the books or hitting the trails with 15 miles.  I am excited that I am at one mile!  I have worked my way up to 20 minutes on the treadmill some days I barely complete a mile in the time, but I get it done. 

This image is missing one of my treadill sessions, my iPod was acting up on Wed.  I did an additional 1.26 miles on Wed.

This next week I am up to a whole 25 minutes! I know it doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, I am very excited! I am also going to try to mix it up a little. I have been pretty good about making it to the gym four times a week, by Friday I am tired so I take a quiet day and then the weekend I am running around with the kids I just don’t make it in.  This week, depending on how I feel (FREEZING cold out), I plan on changing up my Tuesday/Thursday workouts. I am going to try to make it back to Tony’s class on Tuesday morning and Thursday I am hoping for a yoga class.  We will see. 

Small Steps or Ginormous Leaps?

I am sitting here with certain proudness… I almost complete three miles this week.  Yes, I am so excited that I almost completed three miles on the treadmill this WEEK.  The mileage that a few months ago I would have counted as nothing more than a warm up to a bigger workout (in one go) is my accomplishment for the week.  Quite frankly, nothing could make me happier!

This week (I guess my weeks go from Monday to Sunday these days) I made it to the gym four times.  I had three weights days and one cardio day.  Monday I had a lazy day, my WET swimsuit stayed in my truck over night and was frozen and I refuse to put a frozen swimsuit on! I tried sitting on it to warm it up, but my butt got cold so I called it a day.  Tuesday was my first day back on a treadmill in MONTHS! Thanks to Coach Judy’s advice I set the treadmill for five minutes (ended up doing eight because of the cool-down) and made sure I did not go above 3.5 mph, and I felt pretty good.  After the treadmill I hit the weights, I cut all my former weights in half and figured that was a great starting point, then of course I did another eight minutes on the treadmill.  I was a little worried about how it was going to affect me, but I seemed to be ok.  Wednesday, with a dry (and warm) swimsuit I hit the pool.  I found out the pool was only 19 yards instead of the 25 I thought it was, but that is ok, I still got in and got my laps done  AFTER I did my daily five (eight) minutes on the treadmill.  Thursday was another “weights day” (treadmill, weights, treadmill).  Friday was a field trip with a friend to the VA hospital.  Saturday was a running in circles trying to get stuff done and then today I made it back to the gym for a weights day (my sister came with and hit the pool!!!!)

To some this might seem like small steps but I feel like I am making ginormous leaps in the direction I want to go!

 

Boobs!

Yes, boobs! My mom has owned her car for years and the poor thing has been driven all over two continents and it is more than ready to be retired.  My mom isn’t very car savvy and quite frankly neither is my father!  So it is up to the kiddos to point them in the direction of vehicles that fit their needs. 

My mom is 5’2” (on a good day) and my dad is a very arthritic 6’0 (on a really, really good day!).  My mom drives the grandkid mobile that hits Ikea on a regular basis.  She likes roof windows and wants it to go zoom. Oh! And she doesn’t want an SVU (she currently has a station wagon).  Oh yea, I can’t forget she refuses to buy “Government Motors” (her exact words).  She liked the looks of the Hyundai Elantra, but it is as low, if not lower than her current vehicle (which my dad has issues getting in and out of).   In the Hyundai family I am pushing for the Tucson! I stopped by Hyundai and the nice salesman spoke to us (I had my sister with me) as prospective customers who understand what he was talking about, he was very nice and very helpful and we let him know we were looking for our parents and we are gathering information for them.  When he was done showing up everything we needed to know we headed over to Ford because we liked the looks of the Edge. This salesman was sitting around in one of the vehicles (not very professional if you ask me, but whatever). I told him I was looking into the Edge for my parents and I explained what their needs were and he was talking to me like a had no idea about vehicles because I have boobs!  Let me tell you something sweetheart… I know more about vehicles than my dad, I am doing the preliminary shopping for them and yes, I will send my parents to the vehicle I feel will be best for them, but customer service is HUGE in my books and you are really lucky that I still feel the Edge might not be a bad idea for them, it is not coming close to the Tucson.  I am still on the lookout for a good crossover vehicle.  But I really wish car salesmen would realize that women are just as capable to go car shopping as men.  Oh! And the Hyundai salesman got a kick out of the fact I could switch from the serious car shopper to the girly-girl “OH! Look at how cute the nose is on that car!!!!!”

VA Hospital

Today was an interesting day. I had to go up to Denver to the VA hospital with a friend.  I have been there before, I have gone to the ER up there (on a weekend), I have had appointments and so on.  Today we were up there for the better part of the day and I had a chance to sit down and pay attention to my surroundings.  The only word I can come up with to describe the place is depressing!

I have never seen some much brokenness and hopelessness. There were so many people I wanted to walk up and give giant hugs to.  One guy got pissed at someone who worked there because she was trying to let him know what he needs to do in order to get help.  Is yelling at her and walking away really going to get anything accomplished? No!  The staff that we dealt with today realized pretty quickly what our personality is like and they clearly relaxed and seemed to have an enjoyable time joking around with us. 

While I was sitting there people watching I could help but wonder what did all these people look like when they first entered into the military.  I was shocked to see a WWII vet, actually I was quite impressed!  There were some people who were wondering around as if they had no idea where they were going or what they were doing.  This visit comes the same day I heard that this year’s military suicide rate has already passed last year’s rate.  I really hope I am able to keep my spirit up and not drop into the same despair that many of the people I saw today seem to have fallen in to. 

 

 

Veggie Pot Pie

Today was awesome!

Yesterday I ended up having a ‘not going anywhere day’.  But that changed today!  I got to the gym and went upstairs, yes, I finally went upstairs!!! I managed to walk five minutes on the treadmill.  I asked my favorite running coach how do I get back to running, and she responded by telling me to start walking on soft ground, like a treadmill.  I was excited to do my five minutes of walking without to much pain, I did have some discomfort.  Then I was off to the weights, knowing I am on the very first step of recovery I cut all my normal weights in half; yes, most of them seemed VERY light, but I didn’t care.  I would love to say I am finally back at the point where I can go visit my chiropractor, but sadly, I am not quite there yet. I am starting to look at races that I would like to participate in next year and figuring out how I MIGHT be able to be ready for them.  I understand I have a long road of recovery and because of the Lupus, RA and Fibro it will be a very uncharted road.

On a food note, I recently I picked up some really yummy looking cook books/magazines. Tonight was Veggie Pot Pie.  Due to my dietary issues it is great being able to make food that I know I probably won’t have any issues with.  Not to mention if there is something I can’t stand to eat (like cooked celery, YUCK!), I can just leave it out!

 

Sodium

I need to preface this by saying I am not a doctor, nor am I a nutritionist. I am nothing more than a patient who refuses to be uneducated about what is going on with MY body. 

Yesterday my family was out doing our normal weekly grocery shopping.  We stopped by Natural Grocer, looking for some fresh spices.  There was a nice gentlemen sitting pretty close to the entrance giving samples of bread.  The first thing my sister does is pick up the package and check out the sodium level and she let me know it was to high and for me not to try any.  The gentleman politely pointed out that the sodium was on the low side of the midrange.  We informed him I can’t have much sodium, I can have 1500 mg per day.  He seemed shocked about how “low” the number is.  What most people don’t realize is a “normal” person really shouldn’t have more than about 2,300 mg of sodium per day, not the typical 3,436 mg that is normally consumed.  If you are over 51, are African American, have high blood pressure, diabetes or chronic kidney disease you really should stay closer to 1,500 mg per day.  (http://www.cdc.gov/features/dssodium/)

With that all said, thanks to my dear friend lupus I fall into the category of kidney disease. I have had to keep a close eye on my sodium for at least a year now.  I wear a ring on both hands as a cheater’s way to keep an eye on if I am consuming too much sodium, if I have too much I swell up like a balloon. I found out very quickly that most of premade foods (to include items such as bread) are high in sodium and no one really pays any attention.  I admit, I love Chinese food, but I have to be so careful it isn’t even funny! 

 

 

 

 

Veteran’s Day

History of Veterans Day World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” - officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.” In November 1919, President Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…" The original concept for the celebration was for a day observed with parades and public meetings and a brief suspension of business beginning at 11:00 a.m. The United States Congress officially recognized the end of World War I when it passed a concurrent resolution on June 4, 1926, with these words: Whereas the 11th of November 1918, marked the cessation of the most destructive, sanguinary, and far reaching war in human annals and the resumption by the people of the United States of peaceful relations with other nations, which we hope may never again be severed, and Whereas it is fitting that the recurring anniversary of this date should be commemorated with thanksgiving and prayer and exercises designed to perpetuate peace through good will and mutual understanding between nations; and Whereas the legislatures of twenty-seven of our States have already declared November 11 to be a legal holiday: Therefore be it Resolved by the Senate (the House of Representatives concurring), that the President of the United States is requested to issue a proclamation calling upon the officials to display the flag of the United States on all Government buildings on November 11 and inviting the people of the United States to observe the day in schools and churches, or other suitable places, with appropriate ceremonies of friendly relations with all other peoples. An Act (52 Stat. 351; 5 U. S. Code, Sec. 87a) approved May 13, 1938, made the 11th of November in each year a legal holiday—a day to be dedicated to the cause of world peace and to be thereafter celebrated and known as "Armistice Day." Armistice Day was primarily a day set aside to honor veterans of World War I, but in 1954, after World War II had required the greatest mobilization of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen in the Nation’s history; after American forces had fought aggression in Korea, the 83rd Congress, at the urging of the veterans service organizations, amended the Act of 1938 by striking out the word "Armistice" and inserting in its place the word "Veterans." With the approval of this legislation (Public Law 380) on June 1, 1954, November 11th became a day to honor American veterans of all wars. Later that same year, on October 8th, President Dwight D. Eisenhower issued the first "Veterans Day Proclamation" which stated: "In order to insure proper and widespread observance of this anniversary, all veterans, all veterans' organizations, and the entire citizenry will wish to join hands in the common purpose. Toward this end, I am designating the Administrator of Veterans' Affairs as Chairman of a Veterans Day National Committee, which shall include such other persons as the Chairman may select, and which will coordinate at the national level necessary planning for the observance. I am also requesting the heads of all departments and agencies of the Executive branch of the Government to assist the National Committee in every way possible." On that same day, President Eisenhower sent a letter to the Honorable Harvey V. Higley, Administrator of Veterans' Affairs (VA), designating him as Chairman of the Veterans Day National Committee. In 1958, the White House advised VA's General Counsel that the 1954 designation of the VA Administrator as Chairman of the Veterans Day National Committee applied to all subsequent VA Administrators. Since March 1989 when VA was elevated to a cabinet level department, the Secretary of Veterans Affairs has served as the committee's chairman. The Uniform Holiday Bill (Public Law 90-363 (82 Stat. 250)) was signed on June 28, 1968, and was intended to ensure three-day weekends for Federal employees by celebrating four national holidays on Mondays: Washington's Birthday, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Columbus Day. It was thought that these extended weekends would encourage travel, recreational and cultural activities and stimulate greater industrial and commercial production. Many states did not agree with this decision and continued to celebrate the holidays on their original dates. The first Veterans Day under the new law was observed with much confusion on October 25, 1971. It was quite apparent that the commemoration of this day was a matter of historic and patriotic significance to a great number of our citizens, and so on September 20th, 1975, President Gerald R. Ford signed Public Law 94-97 (89 Stat. 479), which returned the annual observance of Veterans Day to its original date of November 11, beginning in 1978. This action supported the desires of the overwhelming majority of state legislatures, all major veterans service organizations and the American people. Veterans Day continues to be observed on November 11, regardless of what day of the week on which it falls. The restoration of the observance of Veterans Day to November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date, but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America's veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good.

 

SPEED BUMP!

Not sure where the past week went, but here we are… I am so glad the first week back from vacation is over and done with and I am finally getting back into the swing of things.  Monday I got up bright and early and braved my first Pilates class in over 10 years.  I took it carefully and really enjoyed it.  Afterwards I hit the pool for a nice swim. 

Tuesday I was feeling pretty good so I decided to get a little precocious and went to spin class knowing I would not make it through the whole class, I was shooting for 30 minutes.  I love Tony, he is an amazing instructor, he welcomed me back to class and asked where I had been.  I told him I had been sick, but I am not sure that is the right word.  Yes, lupus and RA are both illnesses, but when you hurt so much you can barely walk is that an illness or an injury?  Either way, Tony told me to make sure I take it easy, I promised him I would.  In spin class I am very funny about which bike I use, I like the one in the back corner.  The bike two down from me is usually occupied by this very nice lady who I started chatting with months ago.  When I would bring my older son to class with me during the summer she would also keep an eye on him and at the end of class tell him how well he did.  Well over our chats I have learned she has fibromyalgia, so she has an understanding of what life is like for me.  She pulled a mommy on me on Tuesday and told me to stay in the saddle and not stand. I was to take it easy and listen to my body.  When my hips and my back (not to mention my butt) had enough she told me she would wipe down my bike for me after class.  This lady is probably one of the sweetest people I have ever met!  Anyway, after my 30 minutes of spinning I went to the pool.  I was feeling pretty good.  I had to run an errand before going home, still no issues.  I got home; I had my swim bag over my shoulder, my gym bag (with my spinning stuff) in one hand and my purse in the other.  I made it in the door and started up the stairs.  Next thing I knew my back went nuts and I went down.  I was on the stairs, poor Charlie was at the gate at the top of the stairs whining at me and Freddie was in his bed making sure there were no doubts about how unfair life was.  I could not believe how much pain I was in, it was difficult to breathe, I was the only one home and the doors were locked.  I managed to get up the stairs and on to my bed.   Charlie was freaking out, he knew something wasn’t right.  He ended up laying right in front of me and refused to move.  I finally reached my cell phone, called my sister in tears, luckily she was doing her time card and was on her way home.  Freddie, at that point, had settled down, I guess he realized I wasn’t ignoring him because he was bad, I had a reason for not letting him out of his “bed”.  My sister got home and Charlie was still hesitant to leave me, but he really had to go pee! My sister let Freddie out of his bed and then let both of them outside.  She came back in and hooked me up to my elector shock therapy (aka TENs). After about 10 minutes, still in pain, we headed out to the polls.  I am sure we were a trip to watch, but I did my duty, I voted! Sadly we had to do a smidge of grocery shopping before we could go home.  I hopped (ok, hop isn’t the right word) into one of those little scooters and went zooming around the store, but this time the muscle relaxer had started kicking in, I was still in pain, but I really didn’t care. 

Wednesday, my sister told me point blank I was going to take a rest day.  I spent the better part of the day in bed, I did have to go to class, but that was the most excitement I had all day.

Today I was feeling a bit better, my back was still not happy, but I could not spend another day in bed.  I got up did a bit of house work and then I went to the gym.  I was so excited when I was able to do my first really training swim in months!  I was slower than dirt, but I did it! I realized I had to be careful when breathing to the left because it is my left lat that is furious at me, but I did it.  All three thousand, four hundred yards (not sure if the pool is meters or yards, so I assume it is yards) done!  As I was swimming I realized just how tough I really am.  I refuse to be kept down and I will fight like hell to prove just how strong I am.  Earlier this year a dear friend of mine encouraged to join an amazing group of women called Team Tough Chik, recently they started selling apparel with “Toughie” written on the back all I could think about  is now would be a good time to have had a swim suite with “Toughie” written on my rump!

Tomorrow is another pool day!

 

Wicked Witch of the East is Dead!!!!!!

In a way I still feel like I am in the tornado on the way to Oz, but I also feel like the house has landed and squished the Wicked Witch of the West.  I am still battling this flare (which by the way the rheumy thinks I also have fibromyalgia, but I will get to that later) which is why I feel like I am still in the tornado.  As far as the house landing, I got up this morning before ALL my running around and made it to the gym. I braved the scale and I was 3.1 pounds under my freak out weight.  I am currently the highest I have EVER been in my life (to include pregnancies) but that is ok, because that weight is the wicked witch! It has been squished and it will never be seen again!

I made it for a short pool time this morning.  I was already hurting so I didn’t want to push to hard.  I had no interest in hanging out with the pink haired ladies (no, they don’t actually have pink hair and no it is not nice to call them that…) in the water aerobics class. I wanted to swim.  My upper body is a smidge cranky so I figured I would do what I could! I got in and swam 500 meters freestyle.  I did have to stop just about every lap to adjust my goggles or my headphones.  Left shoulder was a little sore, but did not hurt.  The next 500 meters I figured I would try to get in some kicking and I was happy when my lower body did not disown me.  I had to alternate front and back to keep my back from going nuts, but I got it done.  I noticed the time and realized I didn’t have much time left so I walked the last 500 meters. I think I will keep my water walking distance down for the time being, it was not pleasant!  I mean it did feel good to be back in there doing something again, but I think my body like the swimming the best!

After a quick shower and change I was off to the rheumy.  During the initial check in I refused to get on the scale, but later the doc required me to get on anyway.  He came to the conclusion that my back and hips are not lupus related, they are RA related and he believes I have fibromyalgia (well, duh!!!!).  I am coming off the prednisone (YAY!!!!!) and going on something else.  He is also testing me to see if I can go on another lupus drug, can’t remember the name of it at this time, but I am at the point of just make this pain go away!!! OH!!! And the rheumy asked how my appetite has been I told him straight out I have been eating like a pig (which is why he made me get on the scale) he looked at me and said
“you know you aren’t supposed to, right?” It took EVERYTHING I had not to look at him and say ‘no shit Sherlock!!!!!’ but I didn’t say it!

I stopped and picked up lunch (running around day, planned on stopping and picking up lunch today). I had this Santa Fe salad thing and some shrimp! Yum!

Anyway, it is time to continue with my running in circles!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Oh boy, the last two weeks have been amazing and relaxing, on the same token I am sure I put on about at least ten pounds (and enjoyed every bite of it) but the details of that will come later!

I almost feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. My goal is to get to the Emerald City, but it is a very long journey to get there.  Right now I have to rely on a wheelchair to get around (ok, any distance more than about 20 meters) which makes hitting the gym a little more interesting that I would like! I think my yellow brick road goes straight up the side of an insane mountain!

Tomorrow I get to go see my rheumy, he is planning on putting me on a new medicine, maybe that means I get to come off of one or two (hey, a girl can wish, can’t she!).  Then I have mommy duties rest of the day.  I am really not looking forward to Tuesday, the VA has figured now would be a good time to send me to pain and torture (aka physical therapy).  I am really hoping I can move after that appointment, worst case scenario I will call my mom and ask her to come pick me up.  Luckily Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are normal days.  I am hoping to visit the gym every day this week.  I am shooting for either pool time (swimming laps, not walking them) or floor Pilates. Either way it will be interesting because I will be trying to get in a GOOD workout without pissing off my lower body! Oh! And tomorrow is weigh in day! Not looking forward to seeing the number, but I am pretty sure I am prepared for what I will see!   

Noodle Time

I have wanted to attend a water aerobics class since I finally started going back to the gym. Well, today I made it.  It was a very educational experience for me.  I am sure not all water aerobics classes are the same, so I can only judge the one class I attend.  I started off on the wrong foot, I got to the pool a little early so I could get some walking in.  About a half hour before the class started these two women got into the lane I was swimming/kicking in and started walking at turtle pace side by side.  They didn’t even bother to ask if I minded sharing let alone have the courtesy to actually share MY lane.  I got to the point that I was going to move lanes and they finally decide to move. 

Once it got closer to class time more old women came in.  Another woman got into my lane but kept up against the wall, not to get in my way.   After another lap or two it was time for class and the one of the two annoying women attempted to be nice and friendly with me, yea, not happening.  I mean I wasn’t rude/mean, but I am not really a social person when I am trying to get my workout on! Class started and the instructor did the normal – “anyone new to water aerobics?”  I raised my hand.  She told everyone we would do a warm-up, then about 20 minutes of cardio and finish off with some toning and stretching.  I knew I wasn’t really in for a GOOD workout, but I was looking for a workout.  I can say that the toning section of the class was one I enjoyed.  I would be shocked if my heart rate even left level 2. 

When all was said and done, my lower body really didn’t like the class – the jumping around in the water was not a wise move.  My core and upper body enjoyed the toning, happily I am going to be sore tomorrow. My heart really hated it, I kept looking over at the lap pool and up at the windows to the second floor wishing I was there and not in the class. 

I would have to say that one thing that would be nice to attend is a water class for injured athletes.  I am not cut out for the pink haired water aerobics class.  I think I will go back to my pool time and try to get back to where I need to be. 

It sucks!

Sorry, but this is a MAJOR vent!!!!

Back in August I found myself in a MAJOR flare up, I have been in a flare up before, but nothing like this.  I was stuck in bed for about a month.  I have been able to get out of bed since the beginning of September, but I am still battling this damn flare up.  My pain level is hanging out above a 5 (and that is a good day), I am exhausted after doing a small amount of laundry.  I get the picture, I am in a flare up, but that really doesn’t help me.  I go shopping at Wal-Mart I have to rely on a stupid wheel chair just so I can be semi functional the next day. 

 If the pain weren’t enough the reminder of the upcoming iron distance triathlon is killing me. Instead of the race we are going on an amazing vacation, but I get an email from the race and it reminds me that I am broken. I know I will be up and running again soon, but that doesn’t help me right now. I SHOULD be ready to toe the line at my first iron distance; I would have reached my goal of getting my first iron distance done by this upcoming birthday, but NOOOOOOO! I had to extend that date by five years, I will get my iron distance done. Until then I have to enjoy life as a non-racer. I am working on getting time in the pool and working on walking and swimming. I can’t even consider hitting the treadmill or the elliptical machine right now. When I am finally ready to start on the long slow road to running a marathon, let along an iron man, it will take a lot of time and patients to get back to where I want. All advice will be greatly appreciated, not to mention the support not to push myself to hard!

 

Baby steps - rolling over

The gym I frequent is a large facility, on the main floor is: two indoor pools (plus an outdoor pool), two hot tubs, locker rooms, two basketball gyms, God only knows how many tennis courts (cost extra, so I don’t go in there), a climbing wall, a café, and the list goes on.  The second floor is where I love to go (partly because kids aren’t permitted up there), it has the cardio equipment, the weights, the yoga room, and all sorts of other stuff.  As I have been walking in the pool I keep looking up and I see people working out on the second floor and I want to go up there.  I gave it a shot last week and man did I screw up!  I wasn’t even ready for the recumbent bike!  I was hurting so bad it wasn’t even funny.  Today I decided I would brave the upstairs again, I managed to get a full 35 minutes in. Ok, the pain started about 15 minutes, but it didn’t get too bad. By the time I got off it was around a 4 (last week I hit 10 without any question). 

After my enjoyable time on the bike (I broke a sweat, I was so happy), I wondered down to the pool.  Once again I did my five laps walking followed by five laps swimming.  I did 6 rounds of that, and then I did 15 more laps of different exercises.   By the time I got out my pain level was about a 5, so overall I was feeling ok.  I had to run a few errands with minion #2 after my gym time and my body made it clear it was time to stop and go home.  This is a HUGE improvement from two weeks ago.  I am still nowhere near where I need to be let alone where I want to be, but it is just a matter of taking baby steps and listening to my body. 

To be human again!

Yesterday was a bit of a stressful day.  I was going to wake up early and go to aqua zumba, but that didn’t happen.  I did get up in time for my rheumy appointment.  I got there with plenty of time got weighed in (weight was up a smidge), blood pressure checked, blah, blah, blah.  Doc came in and he said the past month confirmed my lupus diagnosis.  He is keeping my prednisone the same because it does seem to be helping a smidge.  He wants to put me on a new medicine, Benlysta infusion.  I am not sure how I feel about it at this point in time, but I am definitely doing my homework on it because if there is even a small chance of giving me back a normal life I am all for it! I guess the next hurdle would be insurance covering it.

I didn’t make it to the pool yesterday, after the doctor appointment I went grocery shopping with my mom and they took rest of my energy. Today, on the other hand, I made it nice and early.  I love the walk 5/swim 5 routine I have.  I think I pushed my swimming a little harder than I should have but for a whole five minutes after getting out of the pool I didn’t hurt, I actually felt human again! I did a total of 75 laps when all was said and done. I am still hoping to make it to a yoga class in the near future, but I am not going to push my luck.

Wordless Wednesday – To bad I am scared of heights!

Strengths

Strength is an interesting concept.  To some people strength is how much you can lift.  Over the past handful of years I have learned that strength has nothing to do with weightlifting.  It is more about how you deal with situations.   

As I keep going on and on about lupus is an autoimmune disease that has no rhyme or reason to it. You can feel amazing one day and then like death warmed over for the few months.  Ok, right now it is more like being hit by a mac truck day in and day out.  I am hoping I can carefully push myself out of this flare-up I have been suffering from for at least the last two months.  Last week I braved the pool with a very optimistic attitude, I had planned on walking a full mile on my first day.  Well, my body didn’t agree with my mind so I got out of the pool after a half a mile and I was fine with that.  Later in the week I tried to get over precocious and snuck upstairs at the gym and got on the recumbent bike, ok, that wasn’t so smart.  Rest of the week I kept with my water walking mixed in with some doggy paddle.  Over the weekend I pulled out my swim bag and it occurred to me… when I swim freestyle 90% of it is upper body, I am not big on kicking so I could give it a shot next time I hit the pool! Today I got in the pool and walked five laps and then swam, not doggy paddled, swam 5 laps.  I had a buoy between my legs to ensure I didn’t try to kick.  I could feel my heart rate increase a little and I was so happy! I repeated the 5 walk/5 swim pattern 5 times.  I capped off my pool time with some lunges and squats, not sure how wise those were, but that is ok.

I am tired, I hurt, but emotionally I feel good!

On a beyond note…  I finally got my grades in from last quarter and ladies and gentlemen I took three classes totally 10 credit hours this quarter and walked away with a clean, strong 4.0 this quarter! YAY!!!!!! 

This is so relaxing!

Today was a busy day!  Last night my sister came up at around 10 pm to let me know the washing machine crapped out and she needed some laundry done.  As a good house sister I told her not to worry about, I will get it washed today.  This morning I called my mom to ask her if I can use her washer and dryer and, like a good mom, she said yes! I got over there about 9 am, with an offering of Starbucks! I had a 10:00 appointment at the VA so I headed out shortly after starting the load.  My doc person (she is a nurse practitioner) was running a little late, but I didn’t mind because she is not one of those people who comes in, gives you 5 minutes and then leaves.  I told her I had a shopping list of stuff, and we went item by item.  I got a lot of information and a lot of stuff taken care of.  Then I was off to pick up some medical paperwork so little man can go to camp in a couple of weeks.  By the time I got back to my mom’s house (with lunch!) she had started the second load for me already (see! A good mom!!!!).  Turns out I brought over about three loads (ok, I am sure I could have done it in two, but I always pack the poor machine!).  Luckily I got finished with enough time to hit the pool before my kids came home. 

As I was walking back and forth the guy in the lane next to me makes a comment about how relaxing it was.  I smiled and nodded, I wasn’t going to tell him my real opinion of walking in the pool.  Relaxing my butt!!! Let me run, let me swim laps those are relaxing! Ok, fine, those are relaxing when they don’t cause extreme pain! The only reason I am walking is to try to get my body to get out of this stupid flare (isn’t working to well).  As I am walking I do let my mind wonder, which does help my mental state, but I want to do more!  I have to keep it slow if I want to get back to running and swimming, I have to listen to my body!

Tomorrow is more walking, I would like to hit the yoga class with Beth, but I am not sure I will make it.  I trust Beth because she is also a yoga therapist and will help me modify the poses.  Or I might wait until next Wednesday and take her gentle yoga class.  I will see how I am feeling in the morning!

I am still waiting on my grades, yes, I am very impatient! I want to know my grades NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

 

To much too soon

Oops! I have to admit, I push myself a lot harder than I should and I always get in trouble! Today is one of those days!

I figured I would go to the gym a little early today and try to get my heart rate up some by getting on the recumbent bike.  I figured it would be gentle enough and it would get my heart rate up a little.  Little did I know how bad it would hurt! I figured I would be able to do 30 minutes without any issues.  My hips, my knees and even my ankles weren’t having it! So I listened (after I tried to push a little longer) and I got off and headed down to the pool.

I did 40 laps today, but not all of it was pool walking, there was a good amount of doggy paddling going on!  It took over an hour, but I felt relaxed when I was done.

This is finals week and that is always a difficult time.  This quarter was one of those quarters that I really wish I could have hidden in my bed the entire time.  Things worked out well; I took three classes, one was purely online, one was on campus once a week and the third one was my capstone project so I only had to meet with my professor every so often for updates.  My online prof was very understanding when I needed an extension for an exam; she said I need to focus on getting better.  My on campus prof knows my issue and I only missed two or three classes.  My capstone prof… I sent him an email letting him know what was going on and he was fine with me sending him emails letting him know my status.  Tonight is the last night of the quarter and I am not stressed out! I had both of my projects printed over the weekend, I took the smart route and brought it to a printer and had them print and crop it so all I had to do was put the final bits together.  I submitted my final exam yesterday for my online class, so I am done!  I am getting so close to graduating which is a MAJOR relief!

Wordless Wednesday—Vacation

Patience my butt!

You hear people talking about starting over at square one, but what happens when you have to go back even further than square one? That is where I am at right now, in many ways it is heart breaking, but in a tiny way it isn’t such a bad thing. 

While I was walking in the pool today I kept looking up and seeing the people working on the weights and thought that would be nice to do.  I am not exactly sure how wise it would at this point, but the idea is still wonderful!  By my second lap I was already hurting, but I decided I would continue until a 1:45 pm (I had to pick my boys up for an appointment by 2:30).  I completed a total of 30 laps today, which, trust me, made me happy.  As I am typing this my hips and knees are making rude comments to me but rest of me feels relaxed! I had to promise my family I wouldn’t even look at a treadmill until I could walk a mile in the water without any pain, so it might be a while. But hey, I am in there working on it. 

My sister found out I was eyeballing the winter running series, I am pretty sure she wanted to kill me!  Hey, it doesn’t start until January, I might be ready by then! Yea, she wasn’t buying it either.  I was told that this will take as long as it needs to and I will NOT rush it! As runners/triathletes we are used to pushing ourselves.  Oh well, I guess I have to work on patience is a virtue!

 

Two Miles

I have not even looked at my gym in over a month due to this stupid lupus flare up.  I had every intention of going to the gym today to do some water walking.  Yay for us, we had a cold front came in overnight and when I woke up I was hurting all over and I felt down right crappy.  I pulled my blanket up and tried to get some more sleep in the hopes I would feel better in another hour or so.  I wasn’t so lucky, but I dragged myself to the gym anyway.  My gym has three pool, one outside (which is closed now) and two inside.  One of the indoor pools is a lap pool and is kept at cooler temperatures, in which I usually do my laps. The other pool is the family/water aerobics pool so it is kept at a warmer temperature.  Of course I went to the warmer pool!  I had planned on doing a mile (36 laps), but at lap 5 my hips and knees and back started to complain.  I figured if I could get to a half a mile I would be happy.  Finally I hit lap 18 and I was done! I spent a little bit of time in the hot tub (I want to talk to my rheumy about that, need to make sure it is ok).  And just to get the pain out of my hips I went into the sauna for all of about two minutes (I can’t breathe in the heat).

Before I got in the pool I braved the scale… I was so ecstatic to see in the past 13 weeks I have only put on four pounds.  Of those 13 weeks, I have been on prednisone for about a month, so seeing a four pound gain is amazing!

Now it is time to have quiet time.  My goal this week is to do a total of 2 miles of pool walking. 

Slowly!

It is odd that I am so excited that I went grocery shopping today and didn’t feel like dying.  I am still horribly tired, but I am slowly starting to feel like a human again. 

My current flare up kicked into over drive the beginning of August, luckily it only lasted a month.  I am still not up to eating as I should along with many other lingering side effects.  Tomorrow my goal is to see how I am doing and take my first trip to the gym in almost a month and a half.  Don’t worry, I am not going to do anything stupid, I am just going to walk/doggy paddle laps in the pool.  I am not going to attempt the water aerobics class until the end of this week at the earliest.  I might ask one of my boys to take me for a walk around the block to see how I am doing that way.  I have to make sure I keep everything nice and slow, I do not want to end up in another flare up (that could very possibly be even worse than my last one).

Here is to a gentle trip to the gym tomorrow!

 

 

Image from The Dibetes Club